Apparently, you can BUY a Spin the Bottle Kit. Hey kids, just take a bottle from your fridge. Works just as well.

I don't understand the appeal of Spin the Bottle. Does anyone actually like this game? Maybe boys do, in that it gives them the excuse to kiss tons of girls guilt-free without going through the trouble of actually convincing them to kiss them. I would love to be around the guy who invented that game and was pitching it to a party--"Hey! I have an idea. What if we take this bottle, and spin it around, and then whoever it lands on has to kiss me." And the girls are like, "what if we don't want to kiss you? Clearly we're not kissing you now." And the guy is like, "right, but then YOU get to spin, and maybe you get to kiss that boy you have a crush on." And somehow, the girls who fail to realize that they hold all the power in who kisses them, give up that power for a Heinz bottle and the possiblity that Crushy Jones will be FORCED to kiss them. I'm not sure it's a great trade off. It might be the exact point in a young girl's life where she gives into the inevitable lady choices she has to make--family or career, looks or brains, boyfriend or friends. And sadly, too often, women they make the choice to let go of their power and let men and the bottles of the world decide what's easier and more digestable. "Hmmm, I guess I'll kiss you. There you are." But I digress.

Plus, is it just me, or is Spin the Bottle just a glorified version of Pass the Cold Sore? I mean, GROSS. You wouldn't put your mouth on everyone's fork at the party, so why are you willing to kiss them? There's a reason even prostitutes won't kiss on the mouth. (At least, I assume that's the case. I also assume their only vices are flossing and wanting more out of life than a fancy apartment after Richard Gere offers it to them. That and I assume they are almost always almost raped by George Costanza.)

Granted, in my lifetime, I've only been to one party that involved Spin the Bottle, and that was sometime during junior high. I had suddenly and briefly found myself part of the Cool Clique. I think it happened because our school made a rule that you could only sit four to a table at lunch in an effort to avoid lunchtime cliqueyness, so the top four cool kids were seated together, and somehow I wound up in the second top four cool kids table, which was deemed cool by its proximity to the top cool table. Our two tables joined forces in our coolness, and became an eight person clique at all other non-lunchroom times. Therefore, before they realized that my days were spent doing homework and collecting fossils, I was part of their Cool Clique. Man, if only my school knew that their anti-clique plan somehow created an evil power clique the likes of which I've never seen before...

Anyway, it was at this Cool Clique party that someone suggested Spin the Bottle, and I guess the mom chaperone thought this was acceptable party behavior, so in their DRIVEWAY of all places, we played Spin the Bottle. No one really wanted to kiss on the lips, it turned out, so it went to the cheek, which went to a hug, and soon everyone lost interest. It was probably a sad moment for the boys, but I was thrilled to see this Cool Clique had some common sense about their general mouth health and could find better things to do with their time. This was, of course, before they decided to hate me for fun, which is another story. Let's just put it this way-- kids are bitches, whether they play Spin the Bottle or not.