Growing up, every time a cop car passed me (one of the few times I was outside and not at home watching Full House or memorizing the US Presidents in order*), I would wave to them. I'm not sure why I did that. It must have been some sort of subconscious holdover from the Projects in the 1950s, like, "wave friendly-like so the cops won't come in and rape you!" I don't understand why this was subconsciously in my child mind, but alas, I waved in reverence and fear, wondering what sort of bad guys they were off to arrest--probably the guys who hang out at parking lots trying to sell little kids drugs. Those guys scared me. Did I ever encounter that in real life? No. No one does. Drug dealers don't try to SELL little kids drugs. Nor do gang bangers stand around the foursquare court waiting for you to break away from your pals and coerce you to join a gang. Though, I do have all the tools to resist, thanks to Texas public education--D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) and G.R.E.A.T. (Gang Resistance Education and Training). Hint--the key is to have high self-esteem!!! Side note-- we had full-on DARE Graduation in fifth grade. To celebrate our pledge to be drug-free in front of our parents and teachers. Sometimes I wondered if our teachers would come after us if we ever got caught smoking The Pot. At Dare Graduation, we had to sing the DARE song, and I was selected to be one of the background singers. "Dare. To keep a kid off drugs. (Me: Kid off druuuuuugs.) Dare. To keep a kid off dope. (Me: Kid of dooooope). Dare. To give a kid some help. (Me: Kid some he-e-e-e-lp.) Dare. To give a kid some hope. (Me: Some hope! Heeeeelp u-u-u-u-u-s!)" It was sort of awesome. I sang with my eyes closed and my hand up, very Mariah Carey-style. So moving.
Anyway, something I recently noticed about cop cars are the ridiculous bumper stickers they have on their bumpers. The best is, "DON'T ABANDON YOUR BABY!!!" As if I was seriously considering doing just that but a bumper sticker command really persuaded me otherwise. Oh...DON'T abandon my baby. Okay, in that case I'll love this infant and raise it for the next eighteen years. Whew. Thanks bumper sticker. They don't really offer any other options--"Don't abandon your baby...drop in a basket on the Nile and hope it's adopted by a Princess of Egypt instead!" I think they should have other oddly specific, obvious commands on it, like, "Don't Commit Acts of Domestic Terrorism!" or "Don't Stop Breathing!" or "Don't, Whatever You Do, Try to Build a Time Machine Even If You Happen To Have Weapons-Grade Plutonium Lying Around Because You Will Totally Eff With the Fabric Of Time, Possibly Killing Your Own Grandparents, And Then Making It So You Couldn't Travel Back In Time, SO HOW DID YOU KILL THEM?? Seriously, Don't Do It." Yes, I'm aware it would be one gigantic bumper sticker. But pretty relevant to my every day life.
*Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Adams, Jackson, Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson, Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, Cleveland, McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush. From memory, my friends.
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If anything, D.A.R.E. made me excited to try drugs. Seriously, we had to memorize the intended effect of every drug. 99% chance of feeling no pain... 5% chance of jumping off building... The odds were always stacked in favor of rigorous drug abuse.
HA! The only thing that scared me, was that the cop/teacher explained how snorting cocaine would make your nose essentially fall off. At the time, I was very attached to my nose.
i have all the prepositions memorized from junior high school. aboard, about, above, across, after, against, along, around, at, below, beneath, besides, before, between, beyond, by, for, from, to, toward... i could keep going.
Me too! It was the tune to some song! I don't remember the words to the real song, just the preposition version!
I forgot to wave to a cop once. Long story short, I have a twelve year old daughter in Michigan.
That 12 year old daughter...is me.
"Am is are was were...be being been...have has had do does did could...will should would may might must can could" I had to memorize that song in second grade. It's the only one I remember.
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